A group
of what would seem to us to be rather odd creatures were variously standing
and sitting, apparently at a party. A huge green slug-like creature with
extra eyes that were constantly panning the area, slithered slowly from
one little group of conversing "creatures" to the other. Each time it came
to one group and tried to get engaged in the conversation, its many eyes
would lead it to another group that looked more interesting, so it would
slither from one group to the other.
The party had been going for quite some time when the wandering slug
came upon a conversation it found so fascinating it kept five of its eyes
locked on the creatures in the group and the other flipped back and forth
for a 3-D view of whomever (or whatever) happened to be talking.
They were talking about a planet they had either already visited or
heard about. The most interesting inhabitants breathed oxygen, were warm-blooded,
and bi-pedal. Suddenly a four armed grasshopper-like creature stepped
into the conversation.
"Been there," it inserted abruptly.
The whole group and all the slug's eyes focused on the grasshopper.
"Tell us.... Tell us all about it!" They all chimed in unison.
The grasshopper creature started its story, "It all happened when I
was making a run to the sirius system. I passed this little blue water-planet.
I had passed it a dozen times before, but this time I decided to investigate.
I took my craft into the atmosphere, which was tough, there was a lot
of density. I had to slow down to keep the heat from damaging my dimensional
shifting equipment. You know how the fuel consumption goes up when you
have to travel in four dimensional space?"
They all nodded in agreement. The grasshopper creature continued:
"I landed in a densely populated area. I observed linear three-dimensional
transportation systems with roller-bearing devices, four of 'em, for stability
and some sort of internal combustion power systems. Simple primitive friction
systems I heard about on primitive technology planets. Anyway, I decloaked
myself and ran into a small version of the creatures that were mostly
moving around on the transportation pathways. The creature seemed surprised
and afraid when I materialized in front of it. It started communicating
with me so loud and violently, I could hardly get my universal language
translation device switched on.
When I finally got it turned on, the creature told me the following
story:
1 "I am a little kid," the creature responded.
"Get away from me or I will squash you!"
2 'um...Please don't kill me!!'pleaded the puny
little boy.
'Goodbye!' I said as I squashed him.
"I did not like doing that for it got my skin all bloody.
" So then I was soaked with blood and I had no where to go
3 I decided to go to the hideout of the evil
villian. I went in and walked around. 'Hello' said a strange voice.'HHI'
I said. 'Uh Uh Uh Uh I didn't mean to intrude but I shall squash you like
a bug'I said as I squashed him like a bug. That also got me all blody.
It was funnythough because I had kiiled the "little boy" and squashed
him like a bug too."
4 I was walking the gr!#$%squishing sensuosly at
my feet I walked through the feild until I came to a tree.With a heave
I hopped up and sat on a branch.
A little bug came it looked someone like an ant but I knew it was not."please
dont kill me, Im the priest!"said the ant.With a squish I sqaushed him.
As he died he yelled"sinner: God will get yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
5 I then turned around in a circle and what did
I see but the ant had reappeared before my eyes. I said, "I thought I
killed you dead." The ant priest said to me, " Once upon a time your squashing
act would have killed me, but now, since we are in the time of the new
millenium, even a seemingly evil act can have merit. I went to another
galaxy and returned by the time you turned around in a circle, and here
I am. Ask me anything. I will answer any question and can grant you one
wish."
